Friday, 16 December 2011

Thirty-Third Friday Flash - Raptor

They couldn't get in could they? Not through the solid door, surely? The door shook under another impact. Andy gripped the pick a little harder.

Why did he have to follow the gold rush? He was doing just fine back home, but no he had to let the gold lust get the better of him.

The commotion outside grew louder. They could sense him and they wanted to come in. How much of the rest of camp had been eaten already?

His whole mining shack was shaking under the bombardment, his pots, pans and utensils clanging together. He put his hands over his ears for a few seconds and took a deep breath. A bit calmer, he looked up, there was some morning light shining through his ill repaired roof. Pulling a stool closer he ripped away the roof tiles and made the hole bigger.

The door gave out and two raptors burst into the room. Freezing for a second he stared at the two beasts, their beady eyes were full of hunger, hunger for flesh.

He snatched his nearby satchel and tossed it up through the hole, a moment later he jumped up and scrambled through the hole, but he wasn't fast enough, one of the raptors had caught his ankle.

Andy screamed out in pain, the raptor yanked down hard, trying to pull him back through the hole.

Flailing his arms he grabbed the metal chimney, he held on for his life and kicked away with his free leg. Just when he thought the raptor was going to chew he foot off he managed to kick his way free. He tried not look at his shredded foot, biting back the pain he pulled himself further away from the hole. Before he could even catch his breath the roof began to tremble, the ravenous creatures jumping up at the ceiling.

The sun was just peeking over the hills, blanketing the valley in a golden light, any other day it would have been beautiful, now it was just mocking him. If only Jeb hadn't blasted his way through the rockfall and into the next valley.

Andy slowly made his way to the edge of the roof. He could see Jeb's favourite red hat, it lay a few feet away from his almost totally stripped carcase. Barely keeping down his supper he looked away.

It wasn't the way he wanted to go. Feeling weak from the pain and loss of blood he snatched his satchel and pulled out the bundle of dynamite. Before he could think himself out of it he lit the fuse. Waiting a few seconds, he cursed and rolled off the edge and landed in the midst of the creatures. Like pigs at dinner time they pounced on him.

“Chew on this you filthy varmints!”


  1. That's one way to do it: if you can't get away, take the SOBs with you!

  2. Alternative gold rush fiction with a dash of Lost World; although I must admit, I kept seeing Jurassic Park as I read your piece. :)

  3. I'd be pretty excited if I found dinosaurs while digging for gold. Pretty sure it's what I was after every time I went digging as a kid.

  4. The guy must be suicidal. Should have stayed home.

  5. Yay! Dinosaurs! It reminded me a bit of Jurassic Park, but I like the gold rush twist. :D

  6. Raptors rule! I just read an article that a paleontologist determined the big claw on velociraptors was for holding their prey down.

  7. This was a fun story, and gotta love those last lines :)

    Thanks for sharing.

  8. Ah, those raptors are about to bite off more than they can chew!

  9. When there is no escape, make 'em pay dearly for your life. YUP Eat THIS!!!

    Love the pic too.

  10. Certainly a fun story, even if the ending is a sacrifice. Spotted a couple of typos, and where you say "grabbed a hold of", just "grabbed the metal chimney" would be better. Otherwise, very entertaining.

  11. @far Exactly!

    @Quinn Thanks! I'm not sure the idea came with me, but I ran with it. Glad to hear it wasn't too generic.

    @John I dug free treasure, never foud anything of value, but did find an old lead soldier once. Looked like he had been through quite a few wars.

    @Sonia I agree, but the lure of gold can do crazy things to people.

    @Cherie thanks! I've been watching Terra Nova lately. Could be that :).

    @Raven, interesting, would have liked to have used that in the story.

    @Michael Thanks! i was wondering if the last line worked. Sounded a bit cliche to me.

    @Tim indeed!

    @Steve that's my Phillips too. Me too, had to make them as scary as possible.

    @Icy Thanks! You're right, quite a bit of word wastage there. And will scan for those typos!

  12. Are there any undiscovered valleys left? I hope so. They make life more interesting don't they?

  13. Like pigs at dinnertime! :) I am wiping a tear of amusement from my eye.