Seventeenth Friday Flash: Where do tigers go when they retire?

Tiger by Emily, age 10 Image Source

12th August 2011
Joey Windercombe (age 12)
Class: 8E
Teacher: Miss Beckett

It was all too exciting. My first visit to the circus, I so wanted to see the tigers. They’re so fearsome, so awesome. Thomas says you can train a tiger so you can ride it like a horse. I don’t believe him. Thomas tells a lot of lies. He once said if you eat apple seeds an apple tree will grow out of your belly button. I checked my belly button all the time for a week until my older brother told me: “Stop being a knob. Don’t believe everything people tell you.” The next day I called Thomas a knob head. It sounded cool at the time. He wasn’t impressed. We fought and both got into trouble.

I still have bruises, but anyway back to the tigers. Thomas’s theory is just stupid, tigers are wild beasts. They would never allow you to ride on their back. They would eat you first!

Wow, I can blabber on! To the circus we go. I sat with my dad near the front. It was musty and smelt funny. Dad said it smelt like mom’s cooking. I agreed, but it was unfair, mom wasn’t there to defend herself. Dad has had a lot of bad things to say about her since she left on that long holiday with her boss. I wonder when she is coming back. I miss her.

But I had popcorn so it was all good. Then the tigers came. It was quite a disappointment! They were both very old. They looked bored. I’m going to write to the ringmaster. They should be in a tiger retirement home or something.

It looked like it was going to be a bust, but then the clowns came. I thought they would be lame, but they weren’t. They were frigging awesome! You like my new word? The clowns taught me that one. I learnt a whole bunch from them.

Then a bloody brilliant thing happened. They were one clown short, and they were looking for volunteers. There were many kids wanting the job. My dad waved a 20 in the air. I was chosen. Best money ever spent. They even let me drive!

Me and seven clowns in a clown car. We whizzed around. Froyo said I was the best damn driver in the whole stinking universe.

It was all going well until Zappo one of the other clowns sneezed. It was so loud I got a fright and smashed into a barrier.

There were a lot of groans and complaints. It was also where I learned all the cool new words. There are some very special ones I’m keeping until later. Sprinkles, the only really creepy clown called me a little dirt bag.

I was a little upset by this. Froyo the head clown was too. He punched Sprinkles right on his big red nose. The crowd roared with laughter. The other clowns joined in. Pies, overgrown shoes and all sorts were flying everywhere. It was scary, but damn awesome. My dad pulled me to safety. Next to Foryo, he’s my favourite hero.

In a nutshell I thought it was the best damn frigging show I ever saw.

(6½/10)

(Very imaginative Joey, but your language was awful! See me after class.) – Miss Beckett.