Illustration by Storm Shorter. Follow her on Twitter @Shewolf222
You can also found out all about her book The Key to Eternal Glory here
Capital City – The government has vowed to clampdown on the scourge of schools across the country. Yes, they are going to ban the use of unicorn shavings. Previously not legislated at all the drug was and most probably still is used by pubescent girls nationwide. Used to get a high it can have them in a stupor for days on end. There have been reports of girls going into deep comas.
Of course the UBA (Unicorn Breeders Association) is up in arms about this. Their biggest source of income is set to be wiped over night. The head of the association. Gangreen Magee is quoted as saying: “What are we going to do with all these unicorns? We can only do so many kids parties before they start getting rowdy. It's a damn shame!”
There have been massive online petitions from girls who say it's all harmless and only a bit of fun. I stopped and asked a girl who was waving a placard around that said: “Give us horn or give us death!” why she liked the shavings so much. She had this to say. “It's like so cool and stuff. After school I just hang with my girlfriends zoning out with it. There are rainbows and butterflies.”
To get a male perspective I stopped to an ask boy who seemed to have been dragged there by his girlfriend what he thought of the whole thing. “It's bogus dude. Girls have all the fun. I tried the stuff and it all did was give me hives. It should be banned. Look at Mary (his girlfriend) she's dancing around like a loon.”
So will the rainbow effect as the kids have called the unicorn shavings high be a thing of the past or will it go underground? I spoke to Iam Naught-High a drug specialist about the problem. He had this to say. “Imagine chocolate and times it by ten. That's what the rainbow effect is like. It's horribly addictive. It's a serious concern, girls in this stage of their lives are very vulnerable. Banning is the only option, but back to your question. Yes, it will go underground and the price will skyrocket.”
There you have it folks. For good or bad the rainbow effect is here to stay. Be sure to read my next article where I will be discussing the growing problem of goblin gobbling.
*Just finished this one so I apologize if it's a bit rough around the edges
I love the sarcasm from the boyfriend! Very cute read!! Thanks for posting!
ReplyDeleteHah… anything kids find fun, you know there's some blue-noses wanting to ban it!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of some people's Twitter use, too!
ReplyDeleteVery original. Enjoyed this fantasy news report immensely. It interested me that the main users were teenage girls - as if they are using to keep hold of their childhood and innocence.
ReplyDeletehaha, that was probably the funniest thing I've seen, and I'm a teenage girl. It sounds like most of the girls who go to my school.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this! Very cute story. Think I will probably enjoy the goblin gobbling story, too.
ReplyDeleteAwesome. Nice humor. Some good phrases "Give us horn or give us death", and I like the thought that regardless of what the fun is someone won't want to see others having fun. (Nice touch that it only works on irls.)
ReplyDeleteHa ha! A girls-only drug made from Unicorns? Very inventive and fun to read.
ReplyDeleteHe he he. Just a cool little tale. Very satirical and well done.
ReplyDeleteAdam B @revhappiness
Hi all. Thanks so much for the feedback and kind words. Will hopefully do another fantasy news style story soon.
ReplyDeleteHa-ha, a nice premise here. Makes me think of an idea one of my friends used in her novel.
ReplyDeleteSmiling! Well done :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is a fun piece! Thanks for sending me this way.
ReplyDeleteThanks too for the great comments on DEMON and GHOST.