Friday, 23 December 2011

Thirty-Fourth Friday Flash Santos Vs The Mermaid

*** this is a follow up to Gorilla Pequeno/Santos Returns and a mash up with Mermaid Tale

Santos and his agent Winston T. Ford had milked his 15 minutes of fame for all it was worth, it was good while it lasted, but it was over now. His talk show had taken a nose dive, and his reality TV show was canceled after the second season.

He still had a few paid TV appearances from time to time and he got some royalties from the banana dance commercial and his other TV work, but it wasn't enough to pay for his lavish lifestyle and support his daughter.

That night he was playing at a place called Rusty Steve's, it was going to be a mishmash of his banana dance and some standup comedy he had been working on. Santos didn't mind that it was the smallest venue on his brand new tour, it would give him some time to iron out the kinks in his act.

Sitting in the front were his diehard fans that had been following him around in a mini-bus. They had endless questions and some were a bit odd, not that he minded, he loved the support.

Over the years he had become good friend with Winston, and even though he had bigger clients he still took time to come and see some of his shows.

Just before the show was about to start a lot more people crowded into the bar. Many looked like hardened sailors, it made Santos feel uneasy.

The show started and it seemed to be going well at first, but Santos soon realized it was just his fans cheering and clapping, the locals were just glaring at him. After a particularly bad joke even his own fans had a hard time laughing to, the crowd began to chant “Mermaid!” over and over again. Santos and his fans looked around in bewilderment. Rusty Steve himself walked through the crowd calling for quiet.

“What's going on?” asked Santos.

“It's time for the real show to begin.”


“Yes, you're going to be fighting one.”

Winston ran up from the side of the small stage. “Are you insane?”

“No, but the bar is locked, and if the crowd doesn't get what they want, things might get ugly.”

“We'll call the cops!” shouted one of the fans.

Rusty Steve turned to a finely dressed man in the audience. “Good evening police commissioner?”

The man nodded.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“Not at all, last a minute with the mermaid and I will double your fee.”



Santos shrugged. “Okay, we have a deal!”

“As your agent I strongly advise against it.”

“My daughter's tuition fees are due soon, plus how bad could it be? I grew up in a carnival, I've seen everything.”

“Okay Santos, just be careful.”

Rusty Steve laughed. “Okay, let's get this thing started!”

The crowd cheered and clapped, even some of the fans got caught up in the excitement. The large black curtain behind them dropped to reveal a giant tank. There was a barely discernible human shaped creature lurking in the murky water.

“Just one minute?” Santos gulped.

“Now hop on in there!:

“Don't look at it in the eyes!” shouted one of his fans.

The locals didn't seem to like this and stared her down, the fan stiffly got back into her seat.

“You better survive this, you have a lot more show to attend!”

“I will,” said Santos stripping to his boxers and climbing up the metal ladder.

The creature in tank grew restless and thrashed around, water splashed over the side. Before he could change his mind and talk himself out of it he jumped into the freezing cold water. An overhead spotlight switched on.

The creature was revealed, it really wasn't like anything he had seen before, it had a large pearly-pink tale, and scales that steadily got lighter and smaller as they reached the top of her body, but that's where the beauty stopped, her face was haggard and weather beaten, the skin of her upper body wrinkled, her eyes red, and her teeth sharp and yellow. He scrambled to get out, his short legs spinning wildly, he did his best to look everywhere but in its eyes.

It came at him swiping with its clawed hands, scratching him badly, then it caught his line of sight, and transformed before his very eyes. Transformed into the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. His wife, his cheating ex wife Maria.

A woman he detested more than anything else in the world. Boiling with rage, Santos punched and kicked away, it felt like he connected with the creature's nose, it coiled away from him. It felt good to let go of all the frustration he had been carrying around for the last few years, anger he had kept bottled to protect his daughter and show he was a better person.

The mermaid was far from done, it whipped him with its tail, knocking him against the side of the tank. Santos kicked off the from the side and continued the fight, but he couldn't see anything the water was so bloody, he was sure a good share of it was his own. A bell rang somewhere.

Torn up and bleeding Santos was yanked from the water, he locked eyes with the mermaid again, he thrashed in Steve's grip.

“Whao... calm down there cowboy!”

Santos wriggled himself free of the grip and landed on the stage, he clutched his aching sides and caught his breath. “You people are sick!”

“Good job boy, no one has lasted that long before!”

“Shut up! Forget my fee, this mermaid is mine now, and you will deliver it to an address I give you.”

Rusty Steve laughed, “And why would I do that?”

“Because I'm sure there are plenty of laws against this, and my fans stream my shows live via the Internet.”

“Yes we do,” shouted one of the fans who was holding a camera.

Rusty Steve turned to the police commissioner, The Man shrugged.


Santos was relieved that he had gotten all his frustrations out of his system. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with the mermaid yet, but he was sure he wanted to get it out of there and help it out in some way. Research would have to be done and favours would have to be called in.


  1. I feel sorry for the mermaid. The guy, not so much.

  2. In the final sentence, why is "The man" capitalized? Was it for humorous effect? If so, darned splendid, it hit me out of nowhere as very amusing.

  3. @Sonia I think you might be right Sonia, Santos isn't a good a person as he thinks he is.

    @John was a typo, but I think I will keep it that way :). The Man is always ruining all the fun!

  4. I'm not sure why he'd be so determined to keep the mermaid, but if it's just so he can take out his frustrations against his ex-wife, then he's as sick as they are. Intetesting balance between the characters.

  5. @Icy Thanks, and glad the characters worked well. I've added a bit to clear up Santos's intentions and set it up for a follow up piece.

  6. I recognize this mermaid! I'll bet it never had a transformation backfire on it like that before.

    These Santos stories are great, this one reminds me how much I've missed them.

    (Oh, and "The Man" was a perfect description for the police commissioner.)