Mick and Keith were the best of friends, doing everything together since they were children. Everything from playing video games, stealing sweets to robbing their first bank when they were sixteen.
Mick was more reluctant of the pair and threatened to quit numerous times, but Keith always convinced him to come back. Over the years they had stashed up quite a retirement fund.
Then one day Keith was looking really down.
“What's up?”
“We have been a detriment to society, I'm going to hand myself in, but you can enjoy our ill gotten gains if you like.”
“If you're going, I'm going!” declared Mick.
They walked into the police station together.
“This is your man!” shouted Keith once they were inside.
Mick was stunned to silence as he was cuffed and hauled away, watching in dismay as Keith grinned and rubbed his hands together.
Dude! THE best post from you, NAY, from the whole #divinehell competition! Someone should use this post to define treachery! *applause*
ReplyDeleteNo honor among thieves!
ReplyDeleteThe retirement fund must have been pretty enticing. Such a pitty to share it. Great fun.
ReplyDeleteWow. Even knowing the subject, I was still surprised by the end. Superb.
ReplyDeleteDoh! I was thinking "surely not..." right up until the end. Slam dunked! Brilliant piece of story writing.
ReplyDeleteOw, and was the reluctant one who got ratted out!
ReplyDeleteGreat little piece, wonderful twist at the end.
I loved how doing everything together started with video-games, progressed to stealing candy which while wrong is conceivably a normal experience--but all that was on the way to the bank robbery.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that while the commanding one betraying the hesitant one who's threatened to quit seems like an obvious outcome this still felt fresh and subtly unexpected.
Mick really walked right into that one...
ReplyDeleteIt's one of those twist endings that you discover and realise you should have known it all along.
That surprised me too! I guess there is not loyalty among bad guys.
ReplyDeleteI'm echoing the other comments, but I did not see that coming.
ReplyDeletePoor, poor Mick. You made me like him and then he got cuffed XD
Hi Craig - I have no idea how I missed you on my list! Thank you for taking part in the challenge - this and the entry for Limbo are by far my favourites!
ReplyDeleteHi Craig - I have no idea how I missed you on my list! Thank you for taking part in the challenge - this and the entry for Limbo are by far my favourites!
ReplyDeleteGroovy story:)
ReplyDelete