Thursday, 13 October 2011

Twenty-Fourth Friday Flash: Rat Problem

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Gabby had a rat problem. Nothing had worked. Giving up, she phoned an exterminator. The doorbell rang as soon as she hung up the phone.

“Mrs Johnson?”

“Yes…” said Gabby frowning.

“I’m Gunther from Little Mountain Exterminators.” The short bearded man and three similar looking men in blue overalls squeezed past her.

Gabby followed them to the kitchen. “That was quick!”

Gunther shrugged. “We were in the area.”

“Boss!” shouted one of the men. “He’s in here!” The dwarf kicked at a kitchen cupboard.

“Get em boys!”

The men snatched little axes from their belts and bashed Gabby’s kitchen to pieces.

Gabby stumbled away from the destruction. “Oh my!”

“It’s the only way.”

A rat scurried away from demolition. Gunther swept it up. “Problem solved.”

“My kitchen!”

Guther handed her a card. It said: “Little Mountain House Repairs.”


  1. Had a belly-laugh at the end of this one! It reminds me of a cartoon from the 50s.

  2. Ha! Sounds like they were onto a good business deal there!

  3. Good laugh at the end. They're going to make a fortune...if people give them that second chance.

  4. LOL I think they sent the mice in the house!

  5. You actually got me to go to Google, thinking "repiar" was an archaic word I had to learn. One typo can really throw me off late at night. At least they haven't demolished my living room.

  6. Good one there - they def. have a deal with the rats!

  7. Hahaha!! God only knows what the kind of card Gabby will get from the home repair people!

  8. Perfect comic timing. You got me twice... the destruction of the kitchen and then the racket.

  9. Ha!I think she needs to hire a Little Mountain Lawyer asap.

  10. Reminds me of Tom and Jerry.
    They'll be out of business once people find out about their methods though.

  11. some people actually do that, just less obviously. ;) lol!

  12. So AWESOME! I literally LOL'd at the end and read it to my friend across the table who also laughed. Incredibly short but you did a wonderful job of scene and imagery with such an economy of words.

  13. @FARfetched Thanks, I think it would make a great cartoon too...

    @Helen I think so too. Very sneaky of them.

    @Eric I suspect they know how to not out stay their welcome ;)

    @Sonia :)

    @John thanks for pointing that out! And good point I doubt their repair bills are very cheap.

    @Icy Thanks. Never underestimate the craftiness of a dwarf.

    @Alberta I'm sure the rats get all they can ear.

    @acasualreader didn't think of that, could be an endless cycle!

    @Aidan Thanks! I think it's going to be very hard for me to do something as good in so few words any time soon, but will certainly try :).

    @Lara haha for sure!

    @Emilia I love Tom and Jerry cartoons. Older the better.

    @Tammy very true, I'm sure stuff like this happens all the time.

    @D.Paul Thanks! I think it's the first time anyone has read out loud one of my Friday Flash :-D. Glad your friend liked it too.

  14. Ha! Cute and funny--a good mix.

    I'm a new follower--came over from Jani's blog.

  15. The enterprising Little Mountain dwarves are certainly not short-sighted. And you sir, pack a lotta punch in 140 little words (not to mention poor Gabby's rodent-less kitchen).

    Bravo Author-Man,
    ~ Absolutely*Kate

  16. @Heidi thank you and nice to meet you.

    Jani is fantastic :)

    @Kate Thank you! Haha... not short sighted at all ;)