Melvin gripped the steering wheel hard, he felt like a fool. Maybe it was all in his head? Maybe she didn't like him at all?
He looked out the window, it was threatening to rain. He grabbed the gifts from the passenger seat and dashed from the car, holding them tightly to his chest. If he remembered correctly she normally stayed after school to clean up. Trembling at the door he knocked.
“Come in!”
There were a few kids at their desks. She looked up.
She sighed. “Oh Melvin! Again?”
“I brought this for you.” He placed a gift box and an envelope in front of her.
One of the kids sniggered.
“Thanks lovely, but it was 30 years ago, we were young, things have changed.”
“But we can recapture it, I know we can.”
She got up and gently placed the items into his hands. “So, how did you escape this time?”
“I locked the nurse in the bathroom,” he said scuffing his slippers on the floor.
“Class dismissed!”
“Yay!” shouted the kids, they snatched up their things and I ran out.
She took his hand, “Come, I'll take you home.”
Very interesting flash piece. I really like how he escaped. There's also quite a bit of mystery about the piece. Well done. :)
ReplyDeleteExcellent job of developing Melvin's character in so few words! I have to feel sorry for the guy, she just won't warm up to him now, but locking the nurse in the bathroom might have been going a little too far. :-)
ReplyDeleteThis was sweet without being sentimental and I love what you did with the line: 'Maybe it was all in his head?' Visual details, too, I could see him scuffing his slippers. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteWow, surreal, cute and awkward all in a very short space. Is this a drabble, Craig? Even if it isn't, you accomplished a good deal in a short distance.
ReplyDeleteImpressive. A lot of feelings in very few words.
ReplyDeleteHi Craig,nice to meet you.
Why does he need a nurse? Well locking her up is probably too much!
ReplyDeleteI love how you build character in so few words. Excellent!
ReplyDeleteI love how you build character in so few words. Excellent!
ReplyDeleteVery nice... surprised the teacher wasn't more freaked out.. that guy did come across a bit creepy... nice flash fiction:)
ReplyDeleteGood story! There are still plenty of questions as the story ends, but that doesn't matter. It feels complete.
ReplyDeleteIt seems he has one hell of an enduring crush on the lady, and he does seem quite a nice guy too, even though a little strange.
ReplyDeletethat's brilliant. i want to know more...
ReplyDelete