Friday, 13 January 2012

Thirty Seventh Friday Flash: The Bathroom



Lucy waddled into the bathroom with a mug of coffee in her hand, her pink fluffy slippers slapping on the floor. She placed it down next to her husband's DIY handbook.

“Much luck?”

“Still leaking, pass me the spanner.”

“Yes, dear.” She leaned down, her dressing gown getting a little wet.

“Don't dear me, if you didn't spend all our money on those stupid shoes we could have had that new bathroom fitted like we had planned.”

“They were on sale, besides I earn more than you and you know it.”

Her husband grunted something and mumbled under his breath.

“What did you say?” Her hands shaking, she was so sick of all the fighting.

“I said you're just as useless as your mother.”

Lucy kicked the steaming mug of coffee over.

“Ah!” There was a dull thud. Her husband's legs twitched, then there was utter silence.

Blood mixed with the spilled coffee, with trembling hands she checked for a pulse. There was none. She plopped down on the wet floor, quietly sobbing.

Would they believe it was an accident? Would they let her wear her new shoes in prison?

14 comments:

  1. Nope, no nice shoes in prison, which will prob cause her far more suffering than her loss of freedom :-)

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  2. I think she'll beat the rap. All she did was kick over a mug of coffee. The rest was happenstance.

    Clever! But you know, it's amazing as much as we squabble about other stuff, Mrs. Fetched & I rarely have any problems working together on home improvement/repair projects.

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  3. I think she hit him with the spanner, but I'm the suspicious type....

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  4. Are we to believe the coffee burned him, causing him to slip, causing the thud and the death? Had some difficulty imagining how that would go since the imagery was loose until then.

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  5. I think this is a woman with a very troubled psyche.

    She's guilty but in denial. IMHO.

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  6. I'm gonna say she's not going to prison. But what rotten person for thinking about shoes right after her husband died...

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  7. Beginning was fantastic. You really hooked me in. The ending came as fast as the ground comes up when you sky dive. But I reckon, she didn't measure the pulse properly. All because of the shoes. A good write, Craig!

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  8. you don't know these people, right?
    just kidding!
    Clever black comedy. ouch!

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  9. This makes you think what is possibly going on with her. The word 'waddled' and I had it in my head she's either expecting a baby or just had one. That can make you a bit... sensitive. I suspect that wasn't intentional but it worked for me!

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  10. The fact she waddled threw me a little too - was she wearing the new shoes then, in which case was she actually wobbling? I'm assuming he had his head under something and hit it on something but it's a little vague. Otherwise it's some great dialogue, and a lot of tension in a flash.

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  11. A rather unkind thing for her husband to say - although, death as punishment for unkindness is a bit harsh.

    This pair certainly had their issues - which was neatly suggested in such a short piece.

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  12. Thanks to all that stopped by and read, really appreciated!

    @Jack Thanks!

    @Li Hehe... You're most probably right!

    @FARfetched Most probably right, she will list all their previous arguments and his abusive comments.

    Same with me, that sense of team work is a great feeling.

    @Tim entirely possible

    @John you're right, I think I will need to clear that up a bit, he was under the basin and the hot coffee made him sit up straight in surprise/pain.

    @Michael Agreed. Either she's in shock or she thinks the shoes are very important, and I've learned in the past it's not a good idea to second guess a woman ;-p.

    @Peter Didn't think of it that way, but a very good explanation!

    @Carole not at all ;). Thank you!

    @Rebecca Well spotted. Being through a emotional roller coaster I think she bought the shoes to feel pretty again.

    @Gail Thanks!

    @Icy That's entirely possible too. Was going to use padded, but waddled seemed better. Exactly, and like John said, maybe it's a bit too vague. And thanks, glad the dialogue sounded realistic.

    @KJM Thank you, and that's what I was thinking too, it was a climax of events.

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