Friday, 7 March 2014

Eighty Fourth Friday Flash: No Place Like Gnome

 Labour minister Reddish Green was in today to answer questions in the Upper House of Parliament.

"When will the exploitation of gnomes stop?" asked Fairly Apt the leader of the opposition party.

"What exploitation?"

"Ha! The list is endless! They are paid minimum wage to stand in front of people's homes to be stared at and made fun of. How can you not call that exploitation?"

"Nonsense! It's tradition and they enjoy it."

"How about the gnomes who are forced to smoke pipes? Some are asthmatic for crumb's sake!"

"No one is forcing them to smoke and if they wish they can always switch to the new electronic smoking pipes."

"Bah! What about the vegetarian gnomes that are forced to fish? It's against all their principles!" Fairly Apt shook his fist.

"They are not forced to do anything. This is a waste of everyone's time and besides they are not even fishing for real fish!"

"You are not taking this seriously, I will not stand by while these poor people are used and abused!"

"I don't know where you are getting your fact from! Gnomes have one of the strongest unions there are. If anything they have it too good!"

Fairly Apt smiled an evil little smile. "What about the rumours you kicked a defenseless gnome?"

"I did no such thing! Hang on a minute since when did the opposition party members start sporting beards?"

"Ah oh!" said the imposter who was actually gnome in disguise. He jumped off his friend's shoulders and they both ran out the room.

Pandemonium broke out. The speaker of the house banged his gavel until there was order. He cleared his throat. "Be honest, did you kick a gnome or not?"

"Yes, but only because the dirty scoundrel pinched my wife's bottom!"


  1. Those lecherous lawn gnomes deserve a good swift kick. The others... a nice shelter and a new coat of paint every year. Cute one!

  2. I guess that kicked gnome had no-one to blame bit hims elf. (Groan) :)

  3. You can't turn your back on a gnome, everyone knows that! Tricky little folk! ^_^ I knew of a gnome that went missing from a front garden - the owner got a postcard from Queensland saying wish you were here. Two weeks later the gnome was back in the garden but painted brown - nice suntan - teethe

  4. Funny! It reminded me of the running gag with the gnome in Amelie.