Image source
*Was originally going to use this image I stumbled across, but I saw it was someone else's fictional character and didn't want it to look like fan fiction or step on anyone's toes.*
Fire. The smoke was thick and black, it trailed off into the night. I hugged my teddy bear close as I stood outside with my gran and watched the fire. Poor Mr. Finnegan. He most probably left his pipe burning.
I wanted to help with the bucket chain, but my gran held onto my hand tightly. I would catch a cold and we shouldn't be gawking, but I could see the fire reflected in her eyes. She enjoyed the spectacle. And like me I was sure she was excited about the prospect of them arriving.
We weren't disappointed. Moments later a fire wagon pulled up. There must have been about half a dozen Mecha Men hanging off of the sides.
“Look there's Tin Man Tony!” I said jumping up and down.
“Indeed it is.”
Tin Man Tony was just like the other Mecha Man except that he was painted in a bright red, and it said TONY across his boiler plate. We watched in wonder as they set to work putting out the fire. They were fast and fearless.
Tin Man Tony rushed into the blazing building as soon as the fire wagon had come to stand still. Moments later he emerged with a very frightened looking Ruffles. Mr. Finnegan's dog.
“Mr. Finnegan?” asked my gran.
Tin Man Tony shook his head.
“May he rest well,” she said shaking her head. “Poor old bugger.”
The tin man placed Ruffles on the floor. The dog came over and sat by me feet and looked up at me with sad eyes. I picked him up. He was old, heavy and stinky but I had always had a soft spot for him.
“Can we...”
My gran sighed. “Just until someone shows up to collect him... now inside with you!”
“Aw... okay...” I followed my gran inside. “When I grow up I wanna be just like Tony.”
“Well,” said my gran with a smile. “If you eat your Brussels sprouts like I tell you, you just might.”
Love, love, love. "He was old, heavy and stinky". You write so well from a younger perspective.
ReplyDeleteThank you Leigh! I have a novel idea I want to work on some day with a similarly young main character.
DeleteIn para2 of the story, are you sure you meant "spectral" and not "spectacle"? I've never seen the word used to reference robots before. Not that robots or armored men can't be cool. I liked Tony!
ReplyDeleteThanks John! All sorted. A ghost of a machine... now that's an idea. Might just use it!
DeleteI like your silent, metal hero. I hope my kid never has a robot for a role model, though!
ReplyDeleteThank you, TONY may return for further adventures. And good point, especially if they started thinking they're a robot and think they need a top up of motor oil or something!
DeleteI think Gran knows that nobody will come to collect the doggie. Poor old guy, he didn't make it though. Tin Man Tony sounds like a great idea for a cartoon though!
ReplyDeleteI think so too, Gran may be strict, but she's just a big softy on the inside. Agreed, wish I could draw! Bring them to life like Mary can too ;).
DeleteThe things we tell our kids to get them to eat their greens! Love the story, especially the stoic Tin Man Tony. :)
ReplyDeleteExactly, parents can be very resourceful when it comes to things like that. Thanks! May be worth using him again.
DeleteSolid advice all kids get...Eat your greens. :)
ReplyDeleteIndeed!
DeleteThe voice feels authentic. I like the way he envisions these mecha men. I always ate my Brussels Sprouts, but never became a mecha man. I've been cheated.
ReplyDeleteThank you Aidan. I've always been fascinated by robots and I'm glad it shines through in the story. Haha... I would demand a refund I were you ;).
DeleteI liked Tony too and the whole flavour of the story.
ReplyDeleteThe only criticism I would offer is in the first para where you write " Fire. The smoke was thick and black, it trailed off into the night. I hugged my teddy bear close as I stood outside with my gran and watched the fire." I personally feel it would read better without the first Fire, so that you started with The smoke etc. but that may just be me.
Good story really enjoyed it and everyone should eat up their Brussel sprouts! ;)
Thank you Helen!
ReplyDeleteGood point. The smoke pretty much implies there's a fire.
Agreed, and they're tasty with butter!