Thursday, 2 February 2012

Fortieth Friday Flash: Nessie

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Caleb brushed his teeth vigorously, he wanted to get rid of his stupid spicy sausage breath. He loved his mum's cooking, but it played havoc on his personal hygiene.

The doorbell rang.

“I'll get it!” he shouted and ran down the stairs. He pulled his clothes straight and flattened his hair before snatching the door open. He smiled, it was Emily, she was all eyes and raven black hair.

Without saying a word Emily reached out and wiped away the toothpaste from his chin.

Blushing, he looked down.

His toothbrush was snatched from his hand. Caleb span around, it was his mum.

“Have him back by 6pm.”

“Mom! I'm 9 years old! Can't I stay out longer?”

“No, it's going to get dark early, and I'm sure your nanny needs to study for her exams.”

“Yes, I do,” said Emily

Emily took his hand and they strolled down the hill towards the lake. He enjoyed spending time with her, all his friends thought girls were icky, but Emily was different, she was a woman.



“One day when I'm older and rich with money coming out of my ears, will you, um, will you marry me?”

She laughed. He would say anything to make her laugh. “You're a sweet kid, you should enjoy your youth, you don't want to shackle yourself too early on.”

“Nah, being young sucks, always people telling you what to do.”

She ruffled his hair. “Believe me kid, things don't change.”

“It will be different for me.”

“Maybe so, but come along, Mr. Darcy will be waiting.”

Sure enough the old man shouted at them as soon as he spotted them. “Come on, come on! Nessie will eat all the fish if we don't hurry!”

Several minutes later they were out on the water, Caleb and Emily looking out onto the water while Mr. Darcy set up his fishing rods.

After a few minutes Emily sat back and opened up one of her books. They weren't supposed to be out on the water, his mum hated the water, and Mr. Darcy complained about any noise he made, but he didn't really care, he loved it.

Bored, he took a piece of paper from Emily's bag and made a paper airplane, once satisfied with all the folds and flaps he threw it into the air. It twirled around and then hovered dangerously near the edge.

“Emily! My plane!”

Startled, she leaped up, her book went flying.

“No!” shouted Emily jumping after the book, and over the edge.


Caleb moved her to grab her, but his fingers just brushed her jacket. She went into the water with a splash. She emerged out of the water a few moments later, gasping for air.

“We must get her out of the water quick!” shouted Mr. Darcy.

Mr. Darcy reached down for Emily's hand. Caleb spotted something big moving in the water. Then Emily screamed, and disappeared into the water. Her large eyes quivering in horror, eyes Caleb would never forget.

“I must save her!”

“I'm sorry lad,” said Mr. Darcy holding him back. “No one can help her now.”

Caleb fell to the floor of the boat, and clutched the side, his arms trembling in shock. His paper plane floated past.


  1. A very good write. Poor Emily. Poor Caleb.

  2. After all the kid's exuberant plans were shot down, I didn't think it would end up in such a tragedy.

  3. You capture his voice really well but I think this would work better as a longer piece as it left me with a lot of questions. For example, I wasn't completely sure who Emily was - obviously some kind of sitter, but why is she taking him out? Where does his mum think they are going? Why did they go onto the water? Who is Mr Darcy? Is this Loch Lomond?

    By the way, I loved the phrase: 'stupid spicy sausage breath'

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